Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme
29
Feb
Sometimes when I’m brushing my teeth, I’ll look in the mirror and I swear my reflection seems kind of disappointed. I realized a couple of years ago that not only am I not super-skilled at anything, I’m not even particularly good at being myself.
25
Jan
Quiet is good…in your life you’ve packed more noise and living into it than fifty people do in their whole tepid existences.
15
Aug
One of Portlandia’s catchphrases is that it’s “where young people go to retire,” but that doesn’t fully capture it. Rather, think back to the moment when you realized you were grown up enough to buy candy whenever you wanted. Then imagine extending that phase indefinitely, for years.
14
Jul
…and the answer is I don’t. I don’t do half of what I always want to do. I want to do so much more. Lots of times I do it in other countries. That makes it easier.
22
Apr
…
17
Mar
im moving again next weekend. Whenever i move i just want to throw half my clothes and my everything out the window. I wish it was socially acceptable to subsist on combat boots, a vintage t-shirt and leggings forever. I hate moving. I’m never going to not be moving. I’ve been like this since I was 17. I could never be a gypsy. I mean, I guess I am kind of, but I really don’t want to be.
18 places in the past seven years, you guys. And more moves than that, because I lived in a couple of those places multiple times.
28
Feb
I must say to myself that I ruined myself, and that nobody great or small can be ruined except by his own hand. I am quite ready to say so. I am trying to say so, though they may not think it at the present moment. This pitiless indictment I bring without pity against myself. Terrible as was what the world did to me, what I did to myself was far more terrible still.
28
Nov
beer tastes like blood. My mouth is numb. I can’t make the words i need to say. She had a weakness for writers and I…I was never that good with words anyways.
11
Oct
I’ve always been so crazy addicted to everything. If i talk to you once, it has to be a thousand times. If I like a song, I have to keep listening to it. If something feels good, I just keep doing it. I just…avoid not having fun at all costs. And am obsessive about every relationship, ever. With everyone, and everything.
I hate it.
I wonder if I’ll ever find a middle ground.
16
Sep
This song reminds me of Berkeley, but not Berkeley now. Berkeley back when it was fun to sucker Tim into piercing one of us even though we were 16, back when Fat Slice didn’t taste horrible and Amoeba was an adventure, back when tattoos were so unobtainable. Back when text messages hadn’t been invented and cell phones flipped, back when I was asked out on a date by a cute gutter punk and we got stoned and walked around the cemetery and kissed and kissed.
Man. I wonder what moving would feel like. Being a grown up is rough.
via whydoihaveablog